One week.
The Eagles report to camp in South Philly on July 28. Seven days from now, there will be actual football players doing actual football things at the complex on Broad Street, and every single one of us is going to watch a shaky vertical video of a rookie catching a slant and declare the season saved.
We know it's ridiculous. We're going to do it anyway.
Yes, We Can Care About Two Things at Once
Before anyone starts — the Phillies are still the main event. The trade deadline is August 3. We are fully locked in. We wrote a whole drinking guide about it.
But this is Philly. Emotional multitasking is our whole thing. We can refresh Phillies trade rumors with one hand and doom-scroll Eagles camp coverage with the other. It's called range.
Let's Address the Bird-Shaped Hole in the Room
A.J. Brown is a Patriot.
I've typed that sentence four times and it hasn't gotten easier. The man gave us three years of contested catches, one Super Bowl parade, and some of the most electric touchdowns the Linc has ever seen. Now he's in Foxborough and we got a rebuilt receiver room and feelings we haven't processed.
Also new this year: another offensive coordinator for Jalen Hurts, because apparently the man is legally required to learn a new playbook every summer. Sean Mannion gets the clipboard now. The passing game ranked 23rd last year and looked predictable enough that your uncle was calling the plays from his recliner. So no pressure, Sean.
And looming over all of it — Jalen Carter wants his money. He deserves his money. Pay the man before I develop a stress condition.
The New Guys (Ranked by How Nervous They Make Me)
Makai Lemon. First-round pick. Scouting report says he "catches everything," which is exactly what I need to hear after last season. Slot receiver, route-running savant, YAC machine. I'm already irrationally attached.
Hollywood Brown. Runs a 4.27. We now have a receiver who can outrun regret. Deep balls are back on the menu.
Dontayvion Wicks. Great route-runner. Known drop problem. I will be watching every camp rep through my fingers like it's a horror movie.
Tariq Woolen. 6'4" corner with sprinter speed lining up across from Quinyon Mitchell and Cooper DeJean. This secondary might be stupid good.
Jonathan Greenard. New pass rusher for Vic Fangio to weaponize. Sack celebrations at the Linc are undefeated.
Eli Stowers. 6'4" rookie tight end described as a "matchup nightmare." Every August we fall in love with a tight end. This is a tradition. I don't make the rules.
And the biggest storyline of all: this is DeVonta Smith's team now. The Slim Reaper as the No. 1. He's been the most reliable player on this roster for years and now he gets the keys. If you're not rooting for a massive DeVonta season, get out of my city.
About Last January
We finished 11-6. We lost to the 49ers by four in the playoffs.
That's it. That's all I'm saying about it. We've moved on (we have not moved on).
Dates for Your Fridge
Camp opens July 28. Open practices are a summer tradition — take the kids, boo a rookie lovingly, it builds character. Preseason: at the Bears August 15, home for the Bills August 22 (with a joint practice August 20), and then—
The Patriots. At the Linc. August 27.
You already know who might be on that sideline. I'm not emotionally prepared and neither are you.
One week until football is back. Six weeks until it counts. And you've got all summer to make sure you're dressed right for it — the football collection is live, and new drops keep coming.
Go Birds. It's almost time.
